And We Were Kissing Gods
by elsbian
Summary: Huddy oneshot. “That’s your problem House – you don’t know when to shut up, and you spend too much time assuming what’s going to happen rather than thinking about what’s going to happen.”


**It's about 2am here in England, and I think I may actually be dead. I wrote this in the last two hours, so I'm really sorry if it's crap. The song I based it on is 'Crying Shame', by Muse.**

**And We Were Kissing Gods**

_But we had a dream, and it was meant to be, and we were kissing gods, against all the odds, now it's a crying shame, and it's a crying shame, you don't know who to blame, we'll never be the same, and it's a crying shame._

'Everything changes. Everybody lies – the only thing that matters is why they lied, and if you're willing to destroy what you have over it.

I lied, and god knows I'm sorry for that, but that fact is that I can't wait around for you to forgive me – it's killing me.

I want you to be happy, but I can't promise you that I'll bring it to you. I'm a jerk – I'll probably hurt you countless times, and you'll hate me for it. But just know that I could never hate you – you've got a great body.

That moment in your office should probably have never happened, but I can't help it – when you look at me with those fiery eyes I can't help but kiss you. The feeling inside me is overwhelming and it can't be suppressed by self-love – I need you.

I know that things aren't going to be the same after this, but please know that I never meant to lie to you, and I certainly never meant to hurt you, even though it was fairly predictable.

I'm hoping that you'll forgive me and we'll go back to mine to screw like rabbits, but I doubt whether that will actually happen.

I'm hoping that everything will go back to normal – that everything will stay the same as it was, but I'm wasting my time – we shared something, something that I can't deny, no matter how much I might try.

I know I can't take back what I said, how I hurt you, but shit, Cuddy – I love you.'

House screwed up the paper and threw it at the trash cane across the room, watching as it narrowly missed hitting Cuddy when she walked into the room.

'Shit… Don't look at the paper,' House thought.

"What brings you here on this fine day?" House asked, hoping to distract her from the paper, but all to no avail – she frowned and bent down, picking up the paper from just next to the trash can.

"I wouldn't look at that – it's a picture of Foreman naked."

"Nice try," Cuddy said dryly, starting to un-crease the paper.

"I really wouldn't… I used it to- you know- clean up, if you get my drift." House said with a wink.

"Oh god," Cuddy sighed in a disgusted tone, dropping the paper in to the trash can next to her.

'Thank god,' House thought, breathing a mental sigh of relief.

"Anyway, I came up here to tell you that you shouldn't be here – get downstairs and do your clinic duty." Cuddy said in her best administrator manner.

"I think you're asking a little too much of me to be honest," House admitted sarcastically.

"And I think you were lying about that paper," Cuddy retorted, pulling it out of the trash can and un-creasing it before House could protest.

"Everything changes. Everybody lies – the only thing that matters is why they lied, and if you're willing to destroy what you have over it." Cuddy started, smirking at House's horrified face.

"I lied, and god knows I'm sorry for that, but that fact is that I can't wait around for you to forgive me – it's killing me." She continued, getting slower at the end of the sentence.

"I want you to be happy, but I can't promise you that I'll bring it to you. I'm a jerk – I'll probably hurt you countless times," she carried on, regardless of the fact that she didn't want to, "and you'll hate me for it. But just know that I could never hate you – you've got a great body." She finished, with a small laugh as her voice started to break.

She suddenly had no control over what she was doing as she continued reading it out, her voice a raspy whisper.

"That moment in your office should probably have never happened, but I can't help it – when you look at me with those fiery eyes I can't help but kiss you. The feeling inside me is overwhelming and it can't be suppressed by self-love – I need you." Cuddy finished the next paragraph – what was this? What was he talking about? What had he been smoking?

"Stop it," House said, shaking his head and standing up, moving towards Cuddy.

"I know that things aren't going to be the same after this, but please know that I never meant to lie to you, and I certainly never meant to hurt you, even though it was fairly predictable." The corners of her mouth turned up in a smile as she read the last part of that section.

She glanced up at House, who was walking over to her with a hand extended.

"Don't read it," House said, gesturing for Cuddy to return the paper.

"You'll have to try harder than that to get this back – what is it?" She whispered.

"It's a note to Wilson."

"I'm hoping that you'll forgive me and we'll go back to mine to screw like rabbits, but I doubt whether that will actually happen." Cuddy read, laughing again as salty tears pricked her eyes.

House moved to snatch the paper from her hands, but she pulled it back, unwilling to give it back without finishing it.

"I'm hoping that everything will go back to normal – that everything will stay the same as it was," she paused, taking a deep breath and looking at House, "but I'm wasting my time – we shared something, something that I can't deny, no matter how much I might try."

"Really, Wilson wouldn't want you reading that." House said bitterly, failing once again to seize the paper.

"Oh my god," Cuddy breathed upon reading the last line, a tear rolling down her cheek. She brushed it away with her thumb and stared down at the paper.

House couldn't tell why she was crying, but it was too late to try to get the paper back now; she had already read the most embarrassing bit.

He groaned in frustration and pushed past her, moving to the door.

"I know I can't take back what I said, how I hurt you, but shit, Cuddy – I love you." Cuddy finally said aloud, turning to face House. He had frozen in the doorway, his hand pressing against the cool glass.

"…And?" He inquired.

"House, what is this?"

"I think it's pretty clear what it is – it was a piece of screwed up paper that was in the trash, which probably means that it wasn't meant to be read. Ever." He spat dryly.

"This was for me," Cuddy stated.

"Well done – that would be why it says your name at the bottom."

"Why did you write this?" She breathed.

"Because I'm totally high – seriously, check out my vicodin bottle; you'd be disgusted."

"Will you shut up and talk to me?" She snapped.

"That made absolutely no sense."

"Talk to me, House! I don't know why you wrote this! I don't know what you think you've done to hurt me so much – I mean, you've hurt me a lot House, but never to the extent that you would write me a letter of _apology_!"

"Why are you angry at me?"

"I'm not angry!" She shouted.

"Mm, yes, I can see that." He rolled his eyes.

"I'm pissed off – I'm not angry."

"There's a difference?"

"There is now," Cuddy retorted.

House sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"You know what? Screw this, screw that note, screw everything I wrote – I take it back."

"No you don't." Cuddy stated.

"It wasn't a question," House said tentatively.

"I know, it was a statement, but you don't take it back – you meant it." Cuddy explained.

"Thanks for that insight into _my_ head," he said as he walked back to his chair.

"You know I'm right."

House froze in his tracks and didn't say anything, opting for the uncomfortable silence instead.

"You know I'm right," Cuddy repeated, "you know you want nothing more than to kiss me again now, because – I quote – 'when you look at me with those fiery eyes I can't help but kiss you'."

House finally turned around to face her, looking at the expression on her face – she looked so satisfied with herself.

"Well, House? I'm all fired up – are you going to do anything about it?"

He stood and stared in disbelief at her question – was she serious? Did she want him to act on what he said to prove himself right?

"Well?"

He limped over to Cuddy, his cane pairing with the sound of his trainers on the floor – the only two sounds in the room. They stood in front of each other, toe to toe. He looked deep into her eyes and heard her breath hitch in her throat as she tried to gasp.

"I'm not going to do anything at all. I'm going to start to walk away, and you're going to stop me and kiss me. Then we're going to pretend it never happened and have this conversation again in a few weeks."

Upon receiving silence at his statement, he nodded and started to walk away, immediately feeling her hand on his arm, preventing him from moving further away.

"See? I told-" He started, but was soon stopped from talking as her lips brushed against his.

"That's your problem House – you don't know when to shut up, and you spend too much time assuming what's going to happen rather than thinking about what's going to happen." She whispered before pulling away and turning around, pushing open the door.

"And you're right – you are a jerk, and you will hurt me in ways I can't even imagine, but in the end, I guess… things won't ever be the same after this, and it's a crying shame." She finished with a shrug, before leaving the office.

House stood in silence for several minutes, gazing after Cuddy as she walked through the corridor and round the corner.

"Crying shame," House repeated in a whisper as a smile played across his lips.

**You'll have to forgive me for this shit ending - I could have spent a little more time figuring out where this fic was going, but I'm tired and laziness prevails. You may be surprised to know that I didn't think this fic through at all - I listened to the Muse song and was like, 'hmm, I'm bored, why not write a fic?' and one thing led to another and my boredom ended up as this. **


End file.
